Building Confidence and Self-Esteem are the foundations of a happy life. They help us deal with hardship, fulfill our hopes and dreams, and get along easily. For most of us, however, building and cultivating these qualities is not easy. In our lives, society and ourselves often blast negative messages in us that eats away at self-esteem.
Fortunately, confidence and self-esteem are not character flaws. But these skills can be developed with hard work and self-kindness. Here are a few techniques to get you started:
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Practice Self-Compassion
Everybody makes mistakes, and we’re all human after all. That is, if you are constantly criticizing yourself for being less than perfect, of course there’s no way to feel good about yourself. Rather than passing judgment on yourself, strive to treat yourself similarly like you would a friend. Practice self-compassion by:
- Acknowledging your feelings: Never repress your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you have been feeling, be it sadness or anger or frustration.
- Being gentle with yourself: Say to yourself what you would say to a close friend or relative facing adversity.
- Focusing on your strengths: Remember your good points and previous achievements.
3. Catching and Correcting Negative Self-Talk
All of us have an inner critic that likes to pick on our weak points. If we allow this critic to run rampant, it will literally destroy our sense of self-respect. To combat negative self-talk:
- Pay attention to your inner critic: What does it tell you?
- Challenge your negative thoughts: You must ask yourself whether your thinking is practical and constructive.
- Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations: Instead of saying to yourself that you’re no good, say instead I am capable and worthy.
3. Give yourself a round of applause for the little victories and progress along life ‘s journey.
When you think about the overall situation it’s really hard not to get discouraged. Of course one must bear in mind that everybody has to start somewhere. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back every once in a while, even for little achievements like these. Did you really manage to keep up with your exercise regimen for a week? Did you get that job test? All of these are achievements worth taking pride in.
4. Investigate the Potential of Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive statements that empower you to reprogram your subconscious and eliminate negative thinking. Positive affirmations repeated regularly can help people to improve their confidence and have a better attitude toward themselves. Some examples of positive affirmations include:
- “I am capable and worthy.”
- “I am confident and strong.”
- “But I am worth loving.”
Conclusion
Yet confidence and self-esteem are processes, not things. Of course, there will be highs and lows on the journey. By being kind to yourself, refraining from obstructionist self-talk, congratulating oneself in little successes along the way as well as through positive affirmation work gets better by degrees.
Keep in mind that you are not embarking on this journey alone. Fortunately, there are many materials to assist you in rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. Of course, when you find yourself stuck there’s no harm in getting help from a therapist or counselors.
